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Introduction
Hi all, My name is Yichao SUN. Dorothy is my English name. I got it from the priest in church when I was a little child. And he told me it means the Goddess of the gifts. Just like my both names imply, they bring me wits and good luck. I am active and native—Shanghai born and Shanghai bred. I major in Business in Fudan University, and I enjoy the college life here very much. As for the feeling of writing, years ago, I came across an article written by George Orwell Why I writer? In it, he argues that there are four great motives for writing: sheer egoism, esthetic enthusiasm, historical impulse and political purpose. But I don’t totally agree with him, because it is not right for me at least. For a long time, I wrote just for the sake of writing. But now I have more time and more space to think and to write what I like. Personally, I regard writing as a kind of special journey. In writing, I can create my private room holding the conversation with myself. It is interesting experience for me. Sometimes, I write not only the happy things but also the growing pains because I am sure that all of them should be cherished in my life. When I review them, it always evokes the consciousness of my memory, and I begin to realize that they are all the pebbles on the beach of my past. Writing is not always narcissistic. In the wide sense, it could be exchanged among my friends. Discussing the topics we interested in and sharing the different ideas are meaningful. I pursue the freedom in writing whatever how clumsy my language. I try hard to learn English because I hope more people can hear my voice. Last but not least, English has its own charm. It is a language as beautiful as Chinese. Its alliteration, rhyme, pun, etc. attract me a lot. I hope that I can learn how to read in English, and how to write in English in this course. So, that’s the reason why I am here. All in all, I like writing, and like to express myself to fulfill my life just as H.D.Thoreau once said that we should suck the marrow out of life.
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Cover Letter
Dec.12, 2006
Dear Portfolio Reader,
Welcome to my blog!
At the beginning of my college study, I started to read English novels and became interested in them. This semester, I joined Ron’s class on academic writing to learn the formal writing.
This blog was set up as part of the of course requirement. The first item, the introduction, is about myself—my hobbies and my attitude toward the writing. And, the following items are my essays from draft one to draft three (final draft). It was revised every two weeks according to my instructor’s advice and my partners’ Then, follow a reading log and the timed-writing. In the first six classes, we focused on the reading and discussions of six short stories. During this period, I learnt the plot summarizing, character analysis, symbol, the key elements in interpreting the story, etc. Later, we did free writings to put what we learnt in use. After that, under the guide of our instructor, I began to set up the blog and embarked on my thesis work. Groups were formed to discuss the story and make best effort in finding a simple, clear and strong thesis statement. It was not as easy as I initially thought, for I wanted to write something different. However, shortly after, I began to realize that it was impossible to perfect an essay in the first draft.
I chose the third short story, Swaddling Clothes, by Japanese writer, Mishimo Yukio, for further interpretation as part of the class assignment. The topic of my essay is about the absent father figure in this story. This topic was from the spontaneous reflection that the newborn baby symbolizes the post-war Japan upon reading it. With this idea in mind, I came across two helpful books: Chrysanthemum and the Sword, Patterns of Japanese Culture and The Father: Historical Psychological and Cultural Perspectives, which enlightened and helped me in shaping up the entire discussions in the thesis from a perspective of the Japanese historical and cultural background.
Yet, the biggest problem in my writing is with the language. I was concerned that a good idea cannot be presented effectively due to language problems. I started to draw up an outline to see if the essay would be logical and understandable. The first step was not lightly taken and I had to spend a lot of time on rereading the story to identify evidence in the novel to support the theme of my thesis. Upon finishing, I read it over and again to avoid the slip of the pen and other grammatical errors. In the second draft, I focused more on the content, for some parts were not clear enough. The finial one was again to revise some language problem based upon the instructor’s proofreading.
In writing my essay, I realized that writing was a process, just as “Rome is not built in a day”. I will keep on practicing.
Best, Dorothy
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An absent father figure in Swaddling Clothes (draft1)
Father figure has been a symbol of greatness and powers throughout the human history across most the cultures. For a country like Japan, father figure plays an even more dominant and crucial role and has always been the pillar and cornerstone for the nation’s thriving in good times and survival in rough times. A good example is the Samurai spirits, considered an extension of the dominant father figure that drove waves of kamikaze attacks against the allied forces during the WWII in the pacific area. But after the war, Japan appeared in front of the entire world as a loser, weakened and humiliated. Its masculinity was in deep crisis. Such drastic changes weighed heavily on the entire Japanese nation and influenced many contemporary writers in Japan. Mishima Yukio is one among them. His novel Swaddling Clothes is a representative work written against such a background.
This story took place in Tokyo shortly after WWII. Yukio depicted a woman, named Toshiko, who was shocked by seeing a newborn baby wrapped in newspapers and lying on the floor. The baby looked so poor and fragile without any protection from a father. Throughout the story, the father never showed up, suggesting the absence of father figure in the post-war Japan. Literally, the story is about an unexpected event in a woman’s life. Broadly, the author really was depicting the life and crisis of the Japanese society after WWII, namely, an absent father figure.
The author uses a woman, Toshiko’s, perspective to illustrate the collapse and dismay of the Japanese society after the war. The most shocking scene came when Toshiko’s husband told his colleagues about “the incident”(132). What they saw was “on the parquet floor the infant lay, and his frail body was wrapped in bloodstained newspapers”(133). Usually, anyone who has a newborn baby will be very happy and take good care of it, for it brings hope. But this baby was just wrapped “in some loose newspapers”(133). The newspapers are too cold and unsafe for a baby. It seems unfortunate that the baby came to this world without any protection from the parents. The father, as the protector, is absent at the beginning of the new life. The condition of the baby gives both Toshiko and her husband “the shock of [their] life”(133) as “the horrifying happening”(133). This cruelest state of the infant suggests the same hardship for post-war Japan at large. Toward the end of WWII, Japan suffered two atomic bombs, and their cities were suddenly destroyed. At that time, it shocked their people and brought traumatic memory in their mind. When the country began to recover from the war, it was just as fragile as a newborn baby. The people were too shocked to accept that fact.
However, father is such a central and important role for any baby and child that the absence of a father figure simply would make the development of child’s personality very difficult. To a certain degree, father is a mentor and guide for a child to follow and pattern. Toshiko finds it especially difficult to explain to the newborn baby about his birth after he grows up. “There will be no one to tell him, as long as I preserve silence”(134). In other words, she will find it hard to identify his identity. Because this baby was born with no father, Toshiko was worried about the baby’s future too. She is concerned that “he can never become a respectable citizen”(134), and if he will ask about his birth and his identity. The indigent birth will symbolize his whole life. So, she felt uneasy, even guilt. Maybe the baby will not know his birth, just like many Japanese youth are not fully told the happenings during the war and after war. When the baby grows up, “he will be wandering through the streets by himself, cursing his father, loathing his mother”(135). This is the only place Toshiko mentions the baby’s father throughout the whole story. In her imagination, father figure is never for admiring but for cursing, which revealed that she never believed the greatness of father figure. After the war, Japanese were very dissatisfied with the status of their country. When the country began to recover, they discovered that they not only lost the war, but also their national spirit. The government did not have the right leaders; their country did not have a soul either. The once enchanted masculinity was in crisis. They questioned their country’s future and showed great worry. They began to realize that there lacks a father figure in their national spirit.
For Japanese, father figure is the central part of their national culture. On one hand, an absent father figure symbolizes losing spirits in their country; on the other hand, it symbolizes that its traditions and cultures are subverted by the outside cultures.
In the beginning of the story, Toshiko told about her feeling about her house. It was “dreaded”(132), for “its Western-style furniture”(132). And her husband was “sitting there in his American-style suit, puffing at a cigarette”(132). Toshiko is a typical Japanese woman, and she could not bear all these. So, even her husband “had seemed to her almost a stranger”(132). In her eyes, her husband abandoned the Japanese culture and tradition and became westernized. However, Toshiko’s husband was not unique, rather a typical Japanese male who followed the western life styles during that time. After the war, Japanese traditions and culture were challenged by the western culture. The national identity was in crisis. Westernization was perceived by many Japanese as the continuation of the war that would defeat the country all together and forever. The father figure was in jeopardy.
Nevertheless, Japanese did not give up the search for the absent father figure. At the end of the story, when Toshio was walking in the park, she met a young man who firstly was “curled up on layers of newspapers”(136). The scene reminded her of the newborn baby who was once wrapped in the same kind of newspaper. Then, an unexpected things happened “a second later a powerful hand reached out and seized Toshiko by her slender wrist”(10). Toshiko felt a powerful strength from her back without any dread. Obviously, Toshiko needed such power as if she was eager to be protected. Such eagerness is not only with Toshiko, it is a widely spread public feeling in the post-war era. A newborn country, like the newborn baby, needed a national spirit. They all need a dominant power in their nation to guide them, and to support their country.
Throughout the story, the author described a shocking event happened in Toshiko’s life, which reflects that the author was worried about the conditions of Japan after WWII and its future. The profoundness of the story goes beyond personal life of Toshio. He demonstrated that an absent father figure presented in the post-war Japan. Of course, he never tries to give up searching for it. When this figure was fading away from their national spirits after WW II, he reminded that it is time for their people to find back this father figure in such difficult and changing times.
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An absent father figure in Swaddling Clothes (draft2)
Dorothy Nov.21, 2006
Draft Two
Father figure has been a symbol of greatness and powers throughout the human history across most the cultures. For a country like Japan, father figure plays an even more dominant and crucial role and has always been the pillar and cornerstone for the nation’s thriving in good times and survival in rough times. A good example is the Samurai spirits, considered an extension of the dominant father figure that drove waves of kamikaze attacks against the allied forces during the WWII in the pacific area. But after the war, Japan appeared in front of the entire world as a loser, weakened and humiliated. Its masculinity was in deep crisis. Such drastic changes weighed heavily on the entire Japanese nation and influenced many contemporary writers in Japan. Mishima Yukio is one among them. His novel Swaddling Clothes is a representative work written against such a background.
This story takes place in Tokyo shortly after WWII. Yukio depicts a woman, named Toshiko, who is shocked by seeing a newborn baby wrapped in newspapers and lying on the floor. The baby looks so poor and fragile without any protection from a father. Besides, Toshiko’s husband abandons their traditional cultures regarded as their elder generation. Throughout the story, the author describes such status, suggesting the absence of father figure in the post-war Japan. Literally, the story is about the unexpected events in a woman’s life. Broadly, the author is really depicting the life and masculine crisis of the Japanese society after WWII, namely, an absent father figure.
The author uses a woman, Toshiko’s, perspective to illustrate the collapse and dismay of the Japanese society after the war. The most shocking scene comes when Toshiko’s husband tells his colleagues about “the incident”: “on the parquet floor the infant lay, and his frail body was wrapped in bloodstained newspapers”(133). It surprises the reader. Usually, anyone who has a newborn baby will be very happy and take good care of it, for it brings hope for the family. But this one is just wrapped in some loose newspapers, which obviously are too cold and unsafe for him. It seems unfortunate that the baby comes to this world without any protection from the parents. The father, as the protector, is absent at the beginning of the new life. The condition of the baby gives both Toshiko and her husband “the shock of [their] life”(133) as “the horrifying happening”(133). This cruelest status of the infant suggests the same hardship for post-war Japan at large. Toward the end of WWII, Japan suffered two atomic bombs, and their cities were suddenly destroyed. At the same time, it shocked their people and brought traumatic memory in their mind. Everything was like a nightmare. Undoubtedly, the newspaper, as the baby’s clothes becomes the metaphor symbolizing thus status of this newborn country. The old has destroyed, but the new one is uncertainty. Toshiko feels nothing but shock. Most Japanese are under the illusion that their country was strong and powerful, and there was a national spirit leading them to win the war. When the country began to recover from the war, it was just as fragile as a newborn baby. The people were too shocked to accept that fact.
For any baby or child, father is such a central and important role. The absence of a father figure simply would make his child hard to make his way in the future. Thinking of that, Toshiko is worried about the baby’s future. “What else could happen to a baby who has had such a birth”(134), she asks herself. To a certain degree, father is a mentor and guider for a child to follow and pattern. And their offspring continue the spirits of the elder generation. But now such figure never exists. Toshiko finds it especially difficult to explain to the newborn baby about his birth after he grows up. She, as the only witness of that terrible scene, struggles in her mind if she should tell the baby the truth. “There will be no one to tell him, as long as I preserve silence”(134). In other words, she finds it hard to identify his identity, for a father, a symbol of guider and social status has disappeared. Toshiko is concerning that “he can never become a respectable citizen”(134), and if he will ask about his birth and his identity. The indigent birth will symbolize his whole life. She feels uneasy, even guilt. Maybe the baby will not know his birth, just like many Japanese youth are not fully told the happenings during the war and after war. When the baby grows up, “he will be wandering through the streets by himself, cursing his father, loathing his mother”(135). This is the only place Toshiko mentions the baby’s father throughout the whole story. The great image, father figure, is destroyed in her mind. Instead of admiring this image, she is thinking that the next generation will never believe the greatness of father figure again. After the war, Japanese were very dissatisfied with the status of their country. When the country began to recover, they discovered that they not only lost the war, but also their national spirit. The government did not have the right leaders; their country did not have a soul either. The once enchanted masculinity was in crisis. They questioned their country’s future and showed great worry. Then, they began to realize that there lacks a father figure in their national spirit.
For Japanese, father figure is the central part of their national culture. On the one hand, an absent father figure symbolizes losing spirits in their country; on the other hand, it symbolizes that its traditions and cultures are subverted by the outside cultures.
In the beginning of the story, Toshiko tells the reader her feeling about her house. It is “dreaded”(132), for “its Western-style furniture”(132). Home reminds the reader of warmth and safety, also, it brings us the sense of place. But for Toshiko, home is dreaded. The furniture in her house makes her feel alien. Furthermore, her husband is “sitting there in his American-style suit, puffing at a cigarette”(132). He has abandoned the Japanese cultures and traditions and became westernized. Toshiko is a typical Japanese woman, all the traditional cultures has engraved in her life, so she could not bear all these. Even her husband “[seems] to her almost a stranger”(132). However, Toshiko’s husband is not unique, rather a typical Japanese male who follows the western life styles during that time. After the war, Japanese traditions and cultures were challenged by the western cultures. Their traditional cultures were in crisis. Westernization was perceived by many Japanese as the continuation of the war that would defeat the country all together and forever. The cultures are the soul of a nation. The loss of cultures, in some degree, suggests the loss of the elder generation’s traditions.
Nevertheless, Japanese did not give up the search for the absent father figure. At the end of the story, when Toshio is walking in the park, she meets a young man who firstly is “curled up on layers of newspapers”(136). The similar scene reminds her of the newborn baby who was once wrapped in the same kind of newspaper. After a while, an unexpected thing happens “a powerful hand reached out and seized Toshiko by her slender wrist”(136). She, once a timid girl, feels a powerful strength from her back without any dread. Obviously, she needed such power as if she was eager to be protected in hard times. Such eagerness is not only with Toshiko; it is a widely spread public feeling in the post-war era. During that time, the people in Japan were afraid and were tired of the war, for they suffered a lot from it, and now they really needed a great power which can protect them in this dark time. A newborn country, like the newborn baby, needed a national spirit and a dominant power in their nation to guide them, and to support their country as well.
Throughout the story, the author describes the shocking events happened in Toshiko’s life, which reflect that the author is worried about the conditions and its future of Japan after WWII, and the eagerness of finding back the power. The profoundness of the story goes beyond personal life of Toshio. He suggests that an absent father figure presents in the post-war Japan. Of course, he never tries to give up searching for it. When this figure is fading away from their national spirits after WW II, he reminds that it is time for their people to find back this father figure in such difficult and changing times.
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An absent father figure in Swaddling Clothes(draft3)
Dorothy
Dec.09, 2006
Draft Three The father figure has been a symbol of greatness and powers throughout the human history across most the cultures. For a country like Japan, father figure plays an even more dominant and crucial role and has always been the pillar and cornerstone for the nation’s prosperity in good times and survival in rough times. A good example is the Samurai spirits, considered an extension of the dominant father figure that drove waves of kamikaze attacks against the allied forces during the WWII in the pacific area. But after the war, Japan appeared in front of the entire world as a loser, weakened and humiliated. Its masculinity was in deep crisis. Such drastic changes weighed heavily on the entire Japanese nation and influenced many contemporary writers in Japan. Mishima Yukio is one among them. His novel Swaddling Clothes is a representative work written against such a background.
This story takes place in Tokyo shortly after WWII. Yukio depicts a woman, named Toshiko, who is shocked by seeing a newborn baby wrapped in newspapers and lying on the floor. The baby looks so poor and fragile without any protection from a father. Besides, Toshiko’s husband abandons their traditional cultures regarded as their elder generation. Throughout the story, the author describes such status, suggesting the absence of father figure in the post-war Japan. Literally, the story is about the unexpected events in a woman’s life. Broadly, the author is really depicting the life and masculine crisis of the Japanese society after WWII, namely, an absent father figure.
The author uses a woman, Toshiko’s, perspective to illustrate the collapse and dismay of the Japanese society after the war. The most shocking scene comes when Toshiko’s husband tells his colleagues about “the incident”: “on the parquet floor the infant lay, and his frail body was wrapped in bloodstained newspapers”(133). A deserted baby lying on the floor surprises her. Usually, anyone who has a newborn baby will be very happy and take good care of it, for it brings hope for the family. But this one is just wrapped in some loose newspapers, which obviously are too cold and unsafe for him. It seems unfortunate that the baby comes to this world without any protection from the parents. The father, as the protector, is absent at the beginning of the new life. The condition of the baby gives both Toshiko and her husband “the shock of [their] life”(133) as “the horrifying happening”(133).
This cruelest status of the infant suggests the same hardship for post-war Japan at large. Toward the end of WWII, Japan suffered two atomic bombs, and their cities were suddenly destroyed. At the same time, it shocked their people and brought traumatic memory in their mind. Everything was like a nightmare. Undoubtedly, the newspaper, as the baby’s clothes becomes the metaphor symbolizing thus status of this newborn country. The old has destroyed, but the new one is uncertainty. Toshiko feels nothing but shock. Most Japanese were under the illusion that their country was strong and powerful, and there was a national spirit leading them to win the war. When the country began to recover from the war, it was just as fragile as a newborn baby. The people were too shocked to accept that fact.
For any baby or child, father is such a central and important role. The absence of a father figure simply would make his child hard to make his way in the future. Thinking of that, Toshiko is worried about the baby’s future. “What else could happen to a baby who has had such a birth”(134), she asks herself. To a certain degree, father is a mentor and guider for a child to follow and pattern. And their offspring continue the spirits of the elder generation. But now such figure never exists. Toshiko finds it especially difficult to explain to the newborn baby about his birth after he grows up. She, as the only witness of that terrible scene, struggles in her mind if she should tell the baby the truth. “There will be no one to tell him, as long as I preserve silence”(134). In other words, she finds it hard to identify his identity, for a father, a symbol of guider and social status has disappeared. Toshiko is concerning that “he can never become a respectable citizen”(134), and if he will ask about his birth and his identity. The indigent birth will symbolize his whole life. She feels uneasy, even guilt. Maybe the baby will not know his birth, just like many Japanese youth are not fully told the happenings during the war and after war. When the baby grows up, “he will be wandering through the streets by himself, cursing his father, loathing his mother”(135). This is the only place Toshiko mentions the baby’s father throughout the whole story. The great image, father figure, is destroyed in her mind. Instead of admiring this image, she is thinking that the next generation will never worship the greatness of father figure again. After the war, Japanese were very dissatisfied with the status of their country. When the country began to recover, they discovered that they not only lost the war, but also their national spirit. The government did not have the right leaders; their country did not have a soul either. The once enchanted masculinity was in crisis. They questioned their country’s future and showed great worry. Then, they began to realize that there lacks a father figure in their national spirit.
For Japanese, father figure is the central part of their national culture. On the one hand, an absent father figure symbolizes losing spirits in their country; on the other hand, it symbolizes that its traditions and cultures are subverted by the outside cultures.
In the beginning of the story, Toshiko tells the reader her feeling about her house. It is “dreaded”(132), for “its Western-style furniture”(132). Home reminds the reader of warmth and safety, also, it brings us the sense of place. But for Toshiko, home is dreaded. The furniture in her house makes her feel alien. Furthermore, her husband is “sitting there in his American-style suit, puffing at a cigarette”(132). He has abandoned the Japanese cultures and traditions and became westernized. Toshiko is a typical Japanese woman, all the traditional cultures has engraved in her life, so she could not bear all these. Even her husband “[seems] to her almost a stranger”(132). However, Toshiko’s husband is not unique, rather a typical Japanese male who follows the western life styles during that time. After the war, Japanese traditions and cultures were challenged by the western cultures. Their traditional cultures were in crisis. Westernization was perceived by many Japanese as the continuation of the war that would defeat the country all together and forever. The cultures are the soul of a nation. The loss of cultures, in some degree, suggests the loss of the elder generation’s traditions.
Nevertheless, Japanese did not give up the search for the absent father figure. At the end of the story, when Toshio is walking in the park, she encounters with a young man who firstly is “curled up on layers of newspapers”(136). The similar scene reminds her of the newborn baby who was once wrapped in the same kind of newspaper. After a while, an unexpected thing happens “a powerful hand reached out and seized Toshiko by her slender wrist”(136). She, once a timid girl, feels a powerful strength from her back without any dread. Obviously, she needed such power as if she was eager to be protected in hard times. Such eagerness is not only with Toshiko; it is a widely spread public feeling in the post-war era. During that time, the people in Japan were afraid and were tired of the war, for they suffered a lot from it, and now they really needed a great power which can protect them in this dark time. A newborn country, like the newborn baby, needed a national spirit and a dominant power in their nation to guide them, and to support their country as well.
Throughout the story, the author describes the shocking events happened in Toshiko’s life, which reflect that the author is worried about the conditions and its future of Japan after WWII, and the eagerness of finding back the power. The profoundness of the story goes beyond personal life of Toshio. He suggests that an absent father figure presents in the post-war Japan. Of course, he never tries to give up searching for it. When this figure is fading away from their national spirits after WW II, he reminds that it is time for their people to find back this father figure in such difficult and changing times.
References: Benedict, Ruth. Chrysanthemum and the Sword, Patterns of Japanese Culture, Boston, Mass: Houghton Mifflin, 1989. Yukio, Mishima. “Swaddling Clothes” 1966. Rpt. in The xxxxxxInternational Story: An Anthology with Guidelines for xxxxx Reading and Writing about Fiction. Ruth Spack.New xxxxxx York: St.Martin's, 1994. Zoja, Luiqi. The Father: Historical Psychological and culutre Perspectives, Kustantaja:, Taylor&Francis Group, 2005.
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Timed-writing(Three)
With the developments in communication, China is becoming more similar to other places in the world. In my opinion, there are three reasons. The first is that the technology developments in China lead to this result. According to the report, in recent years, more and more Chinese use higher technology to make their life easy. The good example is internet. In big city like Shanghai, almost citizens use computer in their life to get the news and new information. By using internet, they could share the information and idea with the people from other countries. In college, if there is a lecture in the States, we could join that lecture at the same time by telnet. The facility of communication makes it possible that we could get the nearest information from other places. The second reason is the development of economics in China. Since the opening up to the world, China became a place where foreign businessmen would like to invest. When these businessmen came to China, they brought their pattern of business into China, influencing the traditional Chinese pattern. The co-operations between China and other countries push Chinese to change themselves a lot. Only by doing so, could they follow the development of the world, for the co-operation needs the same principle to comply. Last but not least, cultures have weighed heavily upon Chinese. Nowadays, Chinese, with their zeal to learn English, the language one third people share in the world, would like to be world citizens. They never keep their conventional cultures and take others’ instead. Many of them, just like foreigners, follow the style of western life. If you take a round in the streets, you could see many chain shops of other countries, as well as appear in China. Of course, it is really hard to say if it is a good phenomenon if China one day becomes another country. Many scholars in China are very worry about this problem. They are afraid that one day Chinese will lose their own cultures and traditions. However, I think not It needs time to prove.
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Reading log: A Woman Like Me by Xi Xi
It was really hard to express my feeling when I was reading this sentimental story by a Chinese writer Xi Xi. The story is to examine the world from a feminine perspective “A woman like me is actually unsuitable for any man’s love”. I am a curious cat, so for the first sentence of the story I wander that what kind of woman she is and why she is unsuitable for a man’s love. The entire story is full of sadness and desperation, indicating that the narrator cannot escape her Fate of love. After reading it, I always ask myself should we bend to our Fate? The story depicts that a woman is sitting in a café and waiting for her boy friend Xia to show her working place. However, the mood of the narrator is too complex. Because her job is not as same as Xia assumed at first. She is a cosmetician, not for the bride but for the dead, which is unacceptable for the common people, even for Xia. It is the very time that she decided to tell him the truth. The conflict in her mind tortures this sensitive girl. She knows well that when she gives away this secret, she will lose her beloved friend just like her Aunt Yifen who lost her boy friend after telling him the horrified job. Yet, if you really love a person, you will choose to tell him the truth. Apparently, she has fallen in love with Xia deeply, and cannot help controlling her feeling and telling truth to him, which becomes the rooted reason of her sadness and dilemma. In this sense, she has to tell Xia what kind of her job she takes. The conflict does not only exist in the woman’s inner soul, but also exists in the outer world where the narrator describes as a dog-eat-dog world. For a woman like her, sensitive and sentimental, the world for her is a tragedy. Her job could not be respected and understood. Ironically, everyone needs it for his or her final chapter at large. Maybe for this reason, no one wants to make friends with one who always contacts with the death, for they are afraid that she will bring doom. I think that the moment when the narrator decides to take Xia to her working place, she begins to lose him. The scene when she is waiting for him in café reminds me of a famous drama Waiting for Godto. The meaning of such waiting is meaningless. Godto will never appear, and Xia’s love will withered as well. When she disappoints with this world and loses the confidence with her friend, she has to shift her emotion to those sleeping friends. Only in recounting her feeling to the death could she gain the peace of mind and forget the fickly world. She is another Aunt Yifen. The narrator always says. In this sense, she has to follow the step of her aunt, and her aunt’s unfulfilled love also implies that it is a forlorn hope to regain the love from Xia once he knows the truth. Flower, the beautiful thing, symbolizes the different meaning for the two persons. For Xia, it means eternal love; while for the narrator, it means eternal parting.
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